Have you heard the term “command higher rates”? If you’re following me you have, because I’ve said it many times.

But after several hard discussions in our Marketer’s Heart Facebook Group, private PM’s, and our other paid communities, I’ve decided to write a post on this term… what I think it means, and more importantly, what it doesn’t.

The word command has multiple meanings, but for the purposes of this discussion, I’m interested in this meaning of the word.

“dominate (a strategic position) from a superior height”

The example in a sentence is “the two castles commanded the harbor”. In this case superior height simply means that they were the most skilled or strategic in the crowd, and because of that, they had more influence than their surrounding competitors.

I am aware that the terms superior and dominate are laced with context (many of which are negative), so I hope people understand that in the matter at hand, we need to probably rephrase it with more nuanced language for our market or industry. In this case, I would say the definition of command is this:

“lead (a strategic position) from an exceptional height”

In other words, your excellence speaks for itself. You are:

• asking for higher rates
• clear on what you charge
• not intimidated by people who don’t understand your pricing
• comfortable asking and sending out proposals
• not afraid to ask for it when someone is expecting less

You do so from a place of excellence and expertise. 

Unfortunately a lot of what’s taught in Internet Marketing is not commanding higher rates at all.

It’s demanding higher rates, and it’s entirely different.

The word demand means… “something claimed as due or owed”.

If you look at the difference between demand and command, one comes from a place of identity and security, and the other one puts the responsibility on the other person to conform to their view or way of thinking.

Of course most of us think of the word demand in an aggressive tone, but it can show up passively as unsolicited advice or offensiveness when someone doesn’t honor or acknowledge their view, etc.

Many of us get into the entrepreneurial game because we long for freedom. Freedom to choose our hours, choose our work, and not have someone else telling us how it should look.

That freedom extends into our pricing as well, and when we are secure in our expertise and what value we’ve placed on that, we are able to command higher rates and not be ruffled when other people don’t ascribe to the same view.

Demanding (and it’s more passive cousins) forgets that in order for us to have freedom in our own businesses, we must also give that freedom to others. They must also be free to command their own rates and pay, and if it’s not from a place of expertise and security, that is most certainly on them to deal with.

“It’s a good day if you can control yourself all day 100% of the time.” – Danny Silk

So much would be solved by learning how to stay in our lane and control the things we can control. Spending so much energy being offended or trying to change someone’s mind when there is zero rapport or even an invitation for that opinion, just leads to wasted time or energy that could be spent working on your own position of command.

What are some practical tips to learning how to be a commander of your rates instead of a demander?

1. Work on your skill. Invest in your expertise.
2. Work on your own personal development and triggers.
3. Practice working on controlling yourself and your emotions.
4. Get comfortable with rejection.
5. Hang around people who are commanding the rates you’d like to command.
6. Learn detachment from outcome, and controlling the things you can.
7. Stop giving unsolicited advice on the Internet. When you have an opinion, use your platform to take a stand.
8. Repeat over and over again the awesome things people say about you.
9. Have an accountability partner or coach who can keep you from reverting to what’s comfortable.
10. Don’t beat yourself up when you make a mistake. Own it, and move on.

– Julie