I don’t know how to start a blog post that I realize will invoke many more questions than answers.
I’ve started and stopped a thousand times, trying to find just the right prose to make what I’m about to say more palatable.
I’ve thought about writing nothing at all- since I don’t owe anybody anything do I?
I’ve considered writing individual notes to all my family and friends, hoping I can customize each word to the particular relationship I have with many of you. But then I get paralyzed. There is no easy or palatable way to say what’s happening in my life.
Direct is best.
For the past three years, Andrew and I have endured a lot of marital hardship- some of it quite publicly. We’ve done everything and more to repair what we could.
But you can only go around the merry-go-round so many times before you realize that someone needs to step off the stupid thing and make the hard decision to pull the plug.
Thankfully, both Andrew and I seemed to have stepped off at the same time.
This week while on vacation, we told the kids that Andrew is moving out. He’ll be living close by so he can still be in their daily lives, but it’s time.
You can imagine the difficulty our children are facing right now, so please please – if you are in their lives, or in mine – keep this thought ever present when you deal with me or them.
Our focus is on them.
I can’t answer everyones’ questions or spend hours delving into the intricacies of why we’ve chosen to end our marriage even though it might make it easier to understand.
You can be sure this has been on the table for a long time – years, not months.
We are both committed to keeping our children safe, healthy, well-loved, and cared for.
I know the most common statement from people will be, “But you guys are such a cute couple. You get along so well.”
Andrew and I have been friends from the womb it seems. Friendship was never difficult to cultivate between us. Despite the enormous fissures in our marriage, our ability to connect as friends was never lost. And it still isn’t.
And it’s with that long-standing friendship that will be work our asses off to make sure our kids suffer as little as possible during this difficult period in their lives.
I’m writing this publicly so that if anyone feels that I’ve disappeared from the blogging world, or am less present on social media, it’s simply because between work, Lyme, and this, my brain is at maximum capacity.
If you know and love my children, please be gentle with them. They may or may not want to talk about it. Let them lead.